


It had been years

by areazel



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, bondlock - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bondlock, M/M, Q is a Holmes, Self-Harm, TW: cutting, algernon holmes, no happy ending, self injury, tw: self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:16:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12347973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areazel/pseuds/areazel
Summary: PLEASE READ TAGS! TW: SELF-HARMWhen James dies Q realizes just how important the agent was to his sanity.





	It had been years

**Author's Note:**

> !!!PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND TAGS!!!  
>  This fic has not been edited or beta read. It's just something I typed up in bed because I couldn't sleep and I'm struggling.
> 
> I haven't written a fic since whenever the last fic I uploaded was. Sorry for the low quality!

It had been years since Algernon Holmes had self harmed. Sure he still struggled with things, but having such a structured job at MI6 was s structure he needed, and it helped him do what he loved. Any self inflicted damage was completely unintentional, usually taking the form of forgetting to eat, or a technical mishap. Things were good; himself and James were in a steady relationship and they had been for a little while. James had already met and made nice with his two elder brothers, Sherlock and Mycroft. James still was amused at how extremely odd the three brothers' names were, but not that Algie knew it was good natured teasing he didn't mind. No one ever meant t playfully when growing up. Things had been going well. 

He should have known better. 

He had been in contact over comms helping guide James through tropical undergrowth to an underground datalab. He hated places like this, very little tech he could hack into and take over. But he was giving all the information he could, he was half way through warning James about the plethora of potentially lethal snakes he had to watch out for when he heard a shout that was cut short. He called James' name frantically over the comm in his ear, but only got silence in response.

Algernon would later find out that he'd been begging a corpse to answer him, a long range sniper had gotten a lucky shot, straight through James skull. There was barely anything left, the bullet had been large and the impact had been extreme. 

It had been years since Algernon had self harmed, but he felt his resolve breaking. The next day was James' funeral, and he thought he would go crazy. He calmly went to he kitchen to dig through the 'random things' drawer before his fingers closed around a messy sewing kit, and he popped it open. He carefully pulled the razor blade out and he set it on the counter. Next he got out a first aid kit, and removed two gauze packs, medical tap, and an ace bandage, each item perfectly lined up next to eachother. He put the boxes away and stared at the tools. It hadn't quite hit him yet that James was dead, but he knew that tomorrow it would. He knew things would get too real when he tossed the first rose down into the grave. 

He turned and poured himself a drink, drinking it down fast before chasing it with tap water. He shifted and he took his sweater off and carefully unbuttoned the cuff of his sleeve. He rolled it up, and removed his watch. With that done he picked up the razor plate and he set his forearm against the cool tile. And he shut his eyes, bring the blade down once, flinching, but it hadn't made contact. He did it about three more times before he felt skin split and he repeated the action two more times before he let out a shuddering breath as he tossed the blade into the sink and he moved quickly to get paper towels to shove ontop of the cuts. He felt like he could see things again, like he could breath again, like for just a moment things were okay. 

The next morning Q was back, he solemnly got into the car that had been sent; his suit perfectly tailored. The expensive fabric hiding the mess of gauze and tight ace bandage that hadn't been changed since they'd been put on. He would deal with that later, in the privacy of his home. Right now the familiar feeling was soothing him, it was what he needed. 

It had been years since Algernon Holmes had been a broken man. Years since he had introduced a blade to his skin, or hot metal to his flesh. But the good days were over, they'd ended when the bullet had shattered James' skull, when Algernon had lost the man who made him feel like a person. 

It had been years since Algernon Holmes had self harmed.


End file.
